A thoughtful grip

I have relatively small hands. When Nicholas and I bought our wedding bands, the clerk said, "Your children will have small hands!" We're still laughing about that. But lately, I've been mulling over this simple truth: We can only hold so much.

I wrote this in my journal last week:

Our grip, our grasp, is finite. So what will we choose to hold? You, Jesus. May You be what I cling to. May You be the first I reach for, not merely as a response to joy or sorrow. Whatever I encounter, may I be more prepared for it because I was already clinging to You.

Thanks to the Holy Spirit, I'm able to identify truths like this, but the application of these truths is where I meet an impasse. What benefit is there to merely talk about what we're clinging to? A thoughtful grip and a teachable heart were meant to coordinate. A teachable heart utilizes new revelations to make necessary adjustments. The heart need to be soft, malleable, resilient. And it must be prepared to change and soften with grace. Why all this discussion about hearts?

What we hold in our hands so closely reflects what we hold in our hearts.

I've been asking myself, "What am I gripping that keeps my hands too full for Jesus?" Comfort. People's good opinion of me. My desire to be well-liked.  My hands (and your's) are too small to hold it all without something slipping away. As my sluggishly teachable heart is learning, the things the world says we have to cling to we never meant to be held tightly, anyway. My hands will have less room for all the unnecessaries as I cling to more of Jesus (and His promises).

Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:24

This is one of my favorite verses, but I've never thought about it in this context. It takes a great deal of courage to consciously let go of my futile idolatry of comfort, people's good opinions of me, and being well-liked. But I don't need to fear or grieve the letting go. He shall strengthen [my teachable] heart.  And of course, it's a good reminder that God has really big hands and the most thoughtful grip on all of us.